Touching wishes: What else we would have liked to have done with our parents | Life & Knowledge
Parents are the people who are always by our side as a matter of course. When they die, they create a gap that, in some moments, tears us apart. Because we would have loved to tell them something else or show them something important.
We asked celebrity and non-celebrity sons and daughters what they wish they had done with their parents before it was too late. What they would have loved to share with them and can no longer do. Your answers touched our hearts. Yours too?
“Go fishing with him again”
Jeanette Biedermann (44), singer and actress, about father Bernd, who died of pancreatic cancer in 2016 at the age of just 63:
“I got my boating license two years ago. My father was a passionate fisherman. And I would have loved to go on a fishing boat trip with him! Just the two of us, dad and daughter. I still miss him every day.”
“Just a Sunday together. Raking leaves, eating breakfast, playing a board game.”
TV doctor Dr. John Wimmer (41) about his father Wolfgang, who died in 1988 at the age of just 38:
“My father died shortly before my fifth birthday. I barely remember him. There is always this one gap in the photos of when I started school, birthdays and other important moments in my life. Others don't see them, but I feel them. Looking back, I desperately wish my father had been with me during these special moments of my life. But what I wanted most and still want today is a Sunday together: a late breakfast where everyone arrives well-rested, raking leaves together in the garden, a walk through the autumn colors, coffee and cake, a board game with the whole family and a movie together in the evening. The assembly in the School were always particularly difficult for me as a child. My friends talked with shining eyes about what they had experienced with their fathers over the weekend. I would have given anything for a Sunday with my father.”
“Dad will never walk me down the aisle.”
Tina Ruland (57), actress about her parents Hermann-Josef (†73, 2007) and Hannelore (†86, 2022):
“My mom would have loved to go to Venice again. When I was little, we always vacationed on the Adriatic and on her birthday in the middle of summer we had a birthday trip to the lagoon city. When my dad died, I became very aware that he would never be able to walk me down the aisle. Even though I've never planned a wedding until now, that's one thing I deeply regret. In my mind, there can only be him accompanying me to the ceremony. But I was able to experience the most important thing emotionally: I was with my parents when they took their last breath. Otherwise, that would be the moment I would have wanted most for her and for me.”
“Baking cookies with the grandchildren – how nice that would have been”
Matthias Bieder (50), BILD reporter, about his parents Manfred and Sigrid, who died at the ages of 85 and 71:
“I had close contact with my parents in the last years of my life, and in my old age I even traveled with my father to his homeland in what is now Poland and to New York. Unfortunately, my mother died very quickly and unexpectedly. What I regret most is that both of them were no longer able to get to know their grandchildren. Since my mother-in-law is no longer alive, you can see in family life how much the grandmothers are missed – even if it's just when they're baking cookies at Christmas.”
“After I came out, all he wanted was for me to be happy. I would love to have him at my wedding.”
Binh Nguyen (45), artist manager about his father Tai († 68), who died unexpectedly during an operation in 2019: “When I told my dad 25 years ago that I was gay, he was completely okay with it and he always supported me , which was absolutely not a given at the time. His only concern was that I wouldn't be happy. Next year I'll be getting married to the love of my life. I would love to say to my dad: 'I wish I had you there so you can see that you don't have to worry. I have found my happiness. Thank you for always accepting me for who I am.'”
“I spent every free second with dad. I'm glad he didn't live to see my cancer.”
Petra Gutzmann (66), pensioner, about her father Gerhard, who died of a heart attack in 2016, shortly after his 80th birthday:
“In fact, I spent every free second with my parents, so I don't know of anything I missed out on sharing with my dad. That's exactly how I deal with my mother. We travel together and I visit her as often as possible. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer three years ago, my dad had already passed away. To be honest, there are things in life that you can be glad your parents no longer have to witness. My father would have been incredibly worried about me. Luckily I’m healthy again today.”
“Just go to FC Bayern with him again”
CSU politician Dorothee Bear (46) about her father Werner Mantel, who died in 2022 at the age of 74:
“I would have loved to go to the Allianz Arena with my dad to see my FC Bayern. My very first game in the Olympic Stadium in the 80s as a little elementary school student was with him, even though he was an inveterate believer.”
“Party in St. Petersburg, us as a family”
Model and actress Rebecca Kunikowski (40) about her parents Cordula (†58, 2016) and Fred (†66, 2020):
“I lost both my parents to cancer. At the same time my grandma died from it. It makes you see the world with different eyes. My mother had saved everything for retirement. A big wish of hers was to travel to Saint Petersburg as a family to celebrate the 'White Nights'. Unfortunately we couldn't do that anymore. It was different with my dad. He visited me in London and even managed to see me on the big screen in my role in 'Maleficent 2'. We were no longer able to fulfill his dream of going to the football stadium with me one last time. But it's not just about the big wishes. Sometimes I just sat on the couch and watched Bud Spencer or Tatort with them. My parents always said I should do my own things, but the little time I had with them was more important to me.”
“An adventure vacation with you – what I wouldn’t give for it.”
Konstantin MarrachBILD reporter (41) about father Harald, who died of prostate cancer six months ago at the age of 68:
“When my father turned 60, we visited the town of Snoqualmie near Seattle and immersed ourselves in the original locations of our favorite series, 'Twin Peaks'. An adventure vacation on the northwest coast of the USA that we definitely wanted to repeat after Corona. We didn't make it. Instead, I made the trip with my mom and we slipped his favorite necklace into 'our' waterfall.”
“I want to say 'thank you' to her. Thank you for the life you gave me.”
Entrepreneur Dagmar Wöhrl (“The Lions’ Den”, 70) about her mother Annemarie Winkler (†96, 2021):
“I had the great privilege of having my mom in my life for a very long time. So there isn't really anything left unsaid between us. If I had the opportunity to meet her again, I would give her a big hug and just say 'thank you'. Thank you for the unique life you gave me. And then I would hope that the hug would last forever…”
“I would love to introduce you to my four-legged soul mate”
Nicola Pattberg (46), management consultant, about her parents Karin (†54) and Mihai (†79) Albu, who died in 2006 and 2017:
“My mother was very afraid of dogs due to bad experiences and gave every dog a wide berth, whereas my father grew up with dogs. Since January 2023 I have had my dog Kya by my side, who comes from animal protection in Greece and is a super sensitive, funny, courageous creature. I always find myself wishing my parents could meet her too. I'm so sure that this wonderful girl would win my mother's heart in no time and that the two of them would be inseparable. And every time I think about it, I have a big tear in my eye because it will just remain a wish.”